is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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