You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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