I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
