I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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