Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
