Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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