How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
