I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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