i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
