Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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