You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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