i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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