it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
