Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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