I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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