This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
