they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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