I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
