she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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