he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
