i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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