Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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