i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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