Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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