Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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