I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
