I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
