Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
