I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
