Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
