I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
