Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
