Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
