Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
