Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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