Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
