Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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