He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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