and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You made me cry and you don't even care
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
