I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
