That reminds me...we need to get swords
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
