Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
