look no pants
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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