and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
