yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i will never coherently bang her
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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