I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
