Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
