Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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