Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
