Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
