come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
its not stalking. its research.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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